Speaking Skills: Antianxiety

Key 4: Antianxiety

Presentation time is looming! You have worked on your mindset and intentions, planned your material out, and practiced. You have a firm grip on your content, and it’s starting to come together nicely in the time allotment. As the date and time for your actual presentation get closer, you might start to feel a familiar nervousness. Here are some techniques to reduce anxiety in the days and moments leading up to your presentation!

• Remember your mindset techniques: The audience wants to hear what you have to say, you offer value to them with your content, and you are “keyed up.”
• If you tend to think in terms of worst-case scenarios, counter it by imagining the best that can happen. Take ownership of your success!
• Before speaking, take deep, slow breaths. Inhale through your nose, hold for a second or two, and exhale through your mouth. If you practice yoga breathing, you may find those techniques useful. Focus on your breathing to calm down, slow your heart rate. Use these deep breaths to get centered before speaking. This will also help you be mindful and present in your body, which can then cut down on unconscious fidgeting, swaying, and other giveaways of your nerves!
• Have a bottle or glass of water near you when speaking. One sign of nervousness is a dry mouth, which can, unfortunately, lead to “smacking” sounds as you try to enunciate your words. Sipping water will help you prevent this, as well as forcing you to make pauses at key points. Note that you should sip the water, not chug it--you don’t want to suddenly feel a very urgent call of nature during your presentation. Avoid dairy-based drinks before speaking, they cause a lot of mucus production and require a lot of throat-clearing.
• Try an antianxiety acupressure technique: the thigh rub. If you’re starting to feel panicky before your presentation, discreetly place a hand (or both) on the top of your thigh. Press down with the heel of your hand, and rub from the top of your thigh down toward your knee. Repeat as necessary. This is an acupressure technique for reducing anxiety (you can search for more acupressure techniques with Google). You can’t really do it during your speech (you’ll be bobbing up and down a lot if you do), but it can work to calm you down beforehand.
• Do you have other postures or gestures that calm you down? Employ them as necessary. For example, when I am calm and relaxed, I frequently find that my thumb is tucked between my first and second fingers. It’s an unconscious posture when I’m already relaxed. Sometimes I will deliberately do this to bring on a calming sensation. If something like this works for you, by all means, use it to your advantage!
• A little aromatherapy (body lotion, cologne, or some other scent that won’t disturb others) can be a powerful mechanism for reducing anxiety. If I’m wearing my favorite cologne, a discreet sniff of my inner wrist brings on the delightfully peaceful feelings associated with the scent (the human sense of smell is powerfully evocative of certain emotions). Lavender and ylang ylang are particularly calming for most people.
• Still a tad nervous? Think this: “Ok, in 10 minutes [30 minutes, 1 hour], I am done, for better or worse, and I won’t have to worry about it any more!”
• Finally, if you are still nervous to give your speech, think of it as a performance, as if you are acting. Put on the persona of someone who is supremely confident, and then perform. Many actors are actually very shy, introverted people who feel more comfortable pretending to be someone else. You can do the same in a presentation. “Fake it ‘til you make it” has a big core of truth in it when it comes to boosting confidence. Adopt the persona of a confident speaker, and you will be the real thing before you know it.

Next key: Performance

Speaking Skills: Mindset

I have recently been putting together a presentation that I am calling "Professionally Speaking: Six Keys to Better Presentations." Because much of my coaching practice involves helping clients improve their communication skills, I decided to make a series of blog posts following the outline of my presentation.

It's a bit of a truism (and also true!) that many people fear public speaking more than they fear death. It is commonly identified as the number one phobia! Yet we all are required to do some "public speaking," whether it's in a staff meeting, a job interview, a sales presentation, or in front of large groups. If the thought of speaking in front of more than one or two people makes your knees shake, then read on.

The first key to better presentations is mindset. When we focus on our fear, we will get more of it; the more you dwell on it, the harder it gets to achieve anything. If your mind automatically goes to the worst-case scenario--"What if I mess up and they laugh at me?"--you will not be able to move forward and seize your own success!

Set your intention for your speech/presentation/interview, and then start with these mind-setting techniques.

• First, relax. Your audience, whoever they are, wants to hear what you have to say. They are rooting for your success!
• Instead of thinking, "I am nervous, I am scared!", shift your energy to think, "I am keyed up!" Being keyed up is about having a higher energy to put into your presentation, not necessarily being frightened of fearful. Channel that nervous energy into something positive instead of dwelling on your fear! This is a subtle, but powerful shift.
• Imagine your success ahead of time. Visualize the room, the audience, and yourself giving the presentation as if you are also in the audience, watching. Notice how well you communicate!
• Take ownership of your success! A presentation is a chance to shine. You get to share something meaningful with your audience or listeners and show them what you can do! This is especially true of job interviews. Remember, you speech or presentation is not a torture device simply to drive you nuts: It is a means to an end of some sort. Think about the payoff to keep your motivation up.
• If your mind continually goes to the worst-case scenario, then counter it by imagining the best-case scenario: Suppose that you do everything perfectly, and people are so impressed they whip out their wallets and give you all their money, plus you get a promotion, and you meet the love of your life, and they throw you a parade and give you a key to the city, all as a result of that one speaking opportunity. Obviously, that's not terribly realistic, but neither is the worst-case scenario. Realistically, your presentation will fall somewhere between these opposites.

Still have a nagging fear of being laughed at? Ask yourself this: Have you ever, in real life, seen a speech disrupted by people pointing and laughing over a mistake? Yeah, me neither. So relax!

Coming up: planning your speech, effective rehearsal tips, antianxiety techniques, performance do's and don'ts, plus what to do after.

Mindfulness

One of the tenets of life coaching, as I learned it, is about living life with intentionality and mindfulness, rather than just reacting to things as they happen around you. Living with mindfulness and intentionality means that you create the life you want, which is a powerful way to take ownership of yourself!

We are so used to working hard and checking things off our to-do list, that we sometimes forget to be intentional. It's easy to drift along, reacting and coping with a full life. So how can we remind ourselves to be deliberate in our actions and choices?

One tiny way I recently found to be mindful and intentional came about in my quest to get more exercise. I love to walk, and I thought I'd add more walking to my routine. Just writing it in the calendar didn't work . . . I could rationalize any number of reasons to postpone or excuse myself from it. So I tried a new tactic: I bought a pedometer, a little gizmo that measures the number of steps you take in a day. It sits on my waistband or in my pocket; it can also tell me how many aerobic steps I've taken, how many calories I've burned, and the total distance I've walked in a day. I'm utterly fascinated by it, and it's made me much more aware of my movement and my body. So now my goals are to get in 2000 steps by lunchtime each day, and at least 6000 by the end of the day.

How do you stay mindful? What are some other things that have worked for you to be intentional in your actions?